Chinese + English = Chinglish

One of the pleasures I enjoy in China is coming across fabulously confusing and inappropriate English translations.  The garbled results are guaranteed to make me smile. Personally, I find it an honor that they try and appeal to English speakers in a country that does not maintain English as an official language.


Each has a backstory, but 2 of my favorites include:

A block away from my Shanghai home is a Peoples Liberation Army (PLA) military barracks, that is largely filled with soldiers to protect the diplomatic consular compounds nearby, such as the USA, Iranian (across the street from the USA), French etc.  Outside their front door one day, I noticed this sign below on the left, and for a moment, fear and shock took over me as I listened for the gunshots, until I realized it was chinglish for ‘construction in progress’:


When in Guangzhou on business, the hotel was adjacent to a public garden, where DJ saw the sign above on the right. When we asked the hotel staff about it, the reply was “recently a government minister came to open the park, and walking through it, he commented there should be nice English tourist signs

To while away time from current madness, what follows, are some of my favorites from my collecting over the years:

… Chinglish, in no particular order

Chinglish Accident Much Road EngrishChinglish Small Pox Light SwitchChinglish Big Fuck Room Chinglish Dick Cleaning Service Chinglish Forbidden Self Blow Jobs Chinglish Fuck Vegetables Chinglish Hand Grenade Fire Extinquisher Chinglish Hot Dogs with AIDS Chinglish if you are stolen call the police Chinglish life jacket vending machine Chinglish No flirting Chinglish No Heterosexuals Chinglish No Kindling at Airport Chinglish SHA T1 upwards inconvenience Chinglish Sperm Salt Chinglish Wait Outside a Noodle Chinglish We Are Working Here to Make Trouble For YouChinglish After first under on do riding with civility Chinglish young lady with open breast Chinglish woms bathing box Chinglish Wel Come Coming Chinglish We Are Openg Chinglish WC Is Free Of Washing Chinglish walk do not look at king Chinglish Waiting are for Heterosexual Children Chinglish Wadi Strictly Prohibit Remain Sundries Chinglish Vomitting Place Chinglish Visitors Stop Walking Chinglish USA Smell Biscuit Chinglish Urinating into pool always the best Chinglish Unrecyle Chinglish Toilet Fall Slowly Silence Chinglish To Sell Inside The Commodity Space All Acceping Money Spice Supplys Examineing The Price Service Chinglish Titting Room Chinglish Tender Fragrant Grass Chinglish Temporary Park Only For Getting Off Chinglish Take Pants off Get Poo Poo PeePee Out Chinglish Take Care To Fall Into Water Chinglish Stop Tourist Chinglish stop mouth Chinglish smorking section  Chinglish Slip Carefully Chinglish Shiting Beauty Salon Chinglish Shanghai Police Tip Being cheated because of credulous beleiving Chinglish Shanghai Expo sign at Ferry entrance... GREAT... Do Chinglish Shanghai Expo Sign At Ferry Door Chinglish Shanghai Expo Sign Aboard Ferry The Cabin Is Contained 250 Chinglish Shanghai Dumpling Stuffed With The Ovary And Digestive Glands Chinglish Sexy Mom Chinglish Saving the earth from environment protection.jpeg Chinglish Saving On Water 600X400 Chinglish Replacing the Note Plate please understanding Chinglish Rely On Out Windows 600X415 Chinglish Range of Surveilance... Do Not Urinate Chinglish puts out had the wattrer leakedge Chinglish public toilet tourism Chinglish prolong defecation Chinglish Prohibiiton of Riding a Bike Downhill Chinglish Please Stop Chinglish Please Make a BeTour Chinglish Please From This Down Chinglish Please Dont Shinny Chinglish People Out of Fire Chinglish Patking Lotpatking Chinglish Passenger Chinglish Out of Visitors Chinglish On A Restaurant Menu… Scrumptious The Ling Angle Burns Chinglish On A Restaurant Menu… Scrumptious Do A Boiler Burn Chinglish On A Restaurant Menu… Scrumptious Blow Up A Flatfish Chinglish Old Weak And Pregnant Chinglish Office Of Mayhem Evaluation Chinglish office area... please dont coming Chinglish No Vomiting In This Toilet Chinglish No Teasing Chinglish No Talls in Disorder Chinglish No Taking Petin Chinglish No Slapping Chinglish no shiting Chinglish no photoing Chinglish No Occupying While Stabling Chinglish No More Steps Chinglish No fun of Water Chinglish No Farting Chinglish No Fart Inside Room Chinglish No Clin Bin Engrish Chinglish No Charge Chinglish Nice Electric Shock Chinglish Multiply by steps beard know Chinglish Multi Intelligence English Chinglish Mouth Watering Smelling Chinglish more than toilet... delicious and happy Chinglish Minutemen Meatpuppets Descendents Angst Chinglish Mind Crotch Chinglish Mend The Glass Engrish Chinglish Men Between Urine Chinglish Matches Chinglish Masturbation stick under your seat Chinglish Mang Out After shit Chinglish Male Sex Toilet Chinglish Male Sex Toilet another one Chinglish Male Man Chinglish Love toilet Chinglish Lnduction Wait Chinglish Let Your Head Knocked Here Chinglish Kunming Economic Trade Hotel Old Man Room Chinglish KFC This Cabinet Pause Chinglish Keep Your Personal Info Out Of Other People Chinglish Keep The Closed Chinglish Jews Ear Juice Chinglish It Is Very Regrettable To Step On The Grass Night As Well One More Step Chinglish Hurry Chong Chong to Chinglish HuBei Theatre Backstage At FAME The Stage Enters From This Chinglish Hotel Concered About Our Wealth And Recycling Condoms Chinglish his and hers lung chips Chinglish Having Fun Prohibited Chinglish have to hurry was also chong chong to Chinglish hall of observing in quietness Chinglish Guangzhou Nice Tourist Signs Chinglish grilled sexual harassment Chinglish Great Enjoyment... smartweed Chinglish Go under the passenger Chinglish Go Straight On Public Chinglish Get Out Throw the punnel Chinglish German Type Sexual Harassment Chinglish Genitl Eman Chinglish Full Comfurt Ban On Opium Smoking Chinglish Fuck the Empress Chinglish Fresh Ugly Orange Chinglish Free Bar Waiting Area at Carrefour Chinglish Fourth Shops Accumulate See Off Greatly Chinglish For Weak Only Chinglish flight delayed due to some reasons Chinglish Five Minutes Chinglish Fire Exting Uisher Box Chinglish Fesh Air after Civilized Urinating Chinglish Fat Man Carbon Baking Chinglish Fat Guy Furrery Tailor Chinglish Fale Toilet Chinglish Facial Cleansing Oil Chinglish Explosive Dog Chinglish Exotic Romance Zone Chinglish Execution In Progress Chinglish Erthing You Need Chinglish Erection In Progress Chinglish Erect the Lid Straight in Kaohsiung city Taiwan Chinglish Enter Trichosanthis paper Chinglish emergency door cock Chinglish Electric Boat Take Notes Chinglish Econmice Management Chinglish drunken trotter Chinglish Door Stood Dangerous Chinglish Dont Spitting at Anywhere Hangzhou Chinglish donky face museum Chinglish dont stampede on toilet Chinglish Dont Follow To Clowsly Chinglish Dont Finger the Peaches Chinglish Do Not Use Lift If It Catches Firre Chinglish Do Not Touch Yourself Chinglish Do Not Take Care Of The Children Chinglish Do not eat in restaurant or drink more music Chinglish Deformed Mans Toilet Chinglish Deformed Man End Place Chinglish Cunt Examination Chinglish Connocting people Chinglish Concerned Except For The People Prohibiton Chinglish commonly seen erection in progress Chinglish China Numismatic Museum Chinglish Caution Wall Falling Off in Haarbin Chinglish Caution Falling Into Water Chinglish Carefully Slip Chinglish Carefully Slip And Fall Down Chinglish Carefully Bang Head Chinglish Careful Roof Falls The Snow Chinglish Care for Life... Do Not Fun Chinglish Breat Lumps Chinglish Bowl Young wing Chinglish Birdbath Mutton Chinglish Big Fuck Hall Chinglish Beware of Missing Foot Chinglish Bean Curd Person Of High Skill Chinglish Be Careful Of Landslide Chinglish Be careful and not torch the head Chinglish Battery Carlectombilelbatterytruck travel Chinglish Audience Halts Chinglish Ass Juice Maker Chinglish artificial ticket office Chinglish animal maintainece Chinglish Air Stairs

In October 2005 we had leased 2 identical apartments in the new Fortune Plaza building in Beijing – 32D & 41D, in fact, we were the only occupied apartments at the time (plus one sleeping security guard on the ground floor).

The Fortune Plaza was situated behind the China World Hotel, adjacent to Beijing’s 3rd Ring road, and within walking distance of the only ATM machine we ever found that accepted our US debit cards and paid out like a Las Vegas slot machine.

The building had an electronic video security system for building access, all in Chinese.  It was complicated, and we could not figure it out.  When we knew guests were coming, we always went downstairs to wait for them to let them in manually.

We asked the building management if the system had English instructions, they said they would provide for us.  About 2 weeks later we received lovingly hand-crafted complete gibberish of “Proper Englich insdructions for Secur system entry

Proper Englich insdructions for Secur system entry

For example:

煤气(GAS) The yellow lamp flashing when the gas divulges.
防盗(Security) Has illegal enters when the yellow lamp glitters.
紧急(Urgent) when the emergency case urgent lamp glitters.
测试(texts) In makes when the coal gas survey test uses.
防盗(Security) The hypothesis or relieves the guard function.
停止/复位(stop) Stops or when the replacement the security system uses.
(Power source,Urgent)
Under the urgent condition uses. Usually the lamp is opened, after presses down the urgent button is red lamp does not stop glitters.
▲ ▼ The adjustment telephone conversation volume size and the picture clear degree-hour uses.
(Telephone conversation / security guard room)
When calls the security guard room or from exterior (telephone, inside connection, security guard room, public entrance, entrance) sends in when the messenger call telephone conversation uses. When calls sends out from exterior, light does not stop glitters, presses button light opens.
(The function opens the gate)
In establishes when each kind of function uses.  When opens the entrance or the public entrance gate uses. (In peacefully has when door lock which assigns uses) when the establishment function the lamp is opened

This type of glittery instruction was typical of most of the appliances and products we bought and used.  Trial and error became the way to learn how to use things.  Non-sensical “engrish” instructions never helped.

Each had its own printed out translation guide to help us turn on, adjust volume, and turn off.  Walking into either of our apartments was like walking into the kitchen scene from the movie The Color Purple where everything was labelled to help learn the language.

within mainland, visit 

PS, I you want to steal my photo(s), please provide a credit link back to me at 

Toby Simkin’s Broadway Entertainment, LLC
dba within China as: 沈途彬商务咨询(上海)有限公司

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